Those Were The Days

Like it or not, the television landscape has changed. No more "very special episodes" or freeze-frames with 'to be continued' appearing across the screen. Reality TV and its “stars” are here, and they're here to stay. Bad news for nostalgia freaks like me who’d rather watch repeats of old shows than spend half an hour with a real housewife, a top chef, or a Boo Boo of any kind. While the number of reality shows are on the increase, what was once an integral part of TV viewing has been quietly disappearing. That simple melody that you waited to hear with anticipation once a week coming from your living room aka a theme song.

If you’re under a certain age, like say, 25 you might not get my gripe. I can’t really blame you; most likely you’ve grown up with slim pickings as far as theme songs go, and by now, watch everything on your laptop (or phone... or watch... or digital chip insert). You're used to commercial and theme song free viewing. Well here's a shocker: there was a time when a show was finished you actually had to wait one week to find out what happens! Yes, a WHOLE week! And get this: a show without a theme song was unheard of. Yep, it’s true. Clips from the show were even shown while the theme played. Madness!

From the mid-nineties on however, that changed as TV theme songs all but disappeared. There are, of course, a few recent exceptions; Mad Men, with an ever falling Don Draper, Game of Thrones and their 3D mechanical map of Westeros and the scientific intro of the Big Bang Theory.

I always considered the Friends theme to be the last of the theme song Mohicans. Fun lyrics, easy to recite, there was an instant classic feel built-in; its catchiness and mainstream crossover success making it the final great theme song of its genre. It comes from the school of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air, The Nanny, The Drew Carey Show (both versions), Perfect Strangers, The Greatest American Hero, Welcome Back Kotter, Happy Days, WKRP, One Day at a time, Full House, Family Matters, Growing Pains, The Flintstones, and The Jeffersons.

Lyrics aren’t always necessary for a theme to be memorable, though sometimes a little voiceover à la Six Million Dollar Man, Knight Rider, or Charlie’s Angels helps create the mood. The Simpsons, Sex and the City, Seinfeld any generation of Star Trek, 902010, L.A. Law, Hill Street Blues, Little House on the Prairie, Newhart, Hawaii 5.0, My 3 sons, Bewitched, and I Dream of Genie, 30 Rock – all sans-lyrics, all great nonetheless.

Quite often, it’s the theme in combination with the accompanying images that hold the magic which eventually give the theme its iconic status. The best of this genre of theme manage to let you know exactly what you’re in for before an episode’s even begun. Dynasty’s theme song and intro captured the show’s opulence, while the Miami Vice clips gave appeal to the Miami lifestyle of the eighties. Magnum P.I.'s music and Hawaii highlights were both beautiful and exciting. Meanwhile Baywatch made us all wish we could run in slow motion and look good doing it.

All this to say, if it isn’t already clear: I miss theme songs. In part, because they now seem to belong to a golden age of television but also because I can recite a ton of them from start to finish with more ease than my National Anthem. Without them I wouldn’t have learned that love can be exciting and new (thanks Love Boat!), that ‘the world don’t move to beat of just one drum’ (according to Different strokes), or that ‘fish don’t fry in the kitchen and beans don’t burn on the grill’ (not in George and Weezy's kitchen at least).

The importance of a theme song should never be underestimated. It contributes to the bond viewers feel with a show and its characters. Cheers made us feel welcomed and always glad we came. Jack, Janet, and ChriCinTerri were waiting for us to knock on their door. Mary turned us on with her smile before the Golden Girls thanked us for being a friend. And then there’s Maude, and who doesn’t love Lucy? All it takes is a few bars, the melody of an old theme song and just like that, we’re transported back in time. Five seconds of the theme from Taxi and I’m 5 years old again, lying on my parents’70- era green and white plaid sofa surrounded by darkness save the light of the tv screen, eyes fixed on a big yellow taxi as it crossed the Brooklyn bridge in one continuous loop. Archie and Edith Bunker sure had it right.